At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize