I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
