That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
