I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
