the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think my moral compass just broke
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
