The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
