Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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