Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
