i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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