I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
