Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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