Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
