im holly from the hills drunk
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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