I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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