It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
