i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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