the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
