Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No subtext here. People are naked.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
