Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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