Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it because I queefed?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My vagina just recognized that song.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
