My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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