The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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