You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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