if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im just a social blackout drinker.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
