he referred to my room as the tit cave...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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