apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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