Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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