dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
