dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
