Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
