Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They have beer where we have blood.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
