So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
