I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
