like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
