I need help removing her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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