Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
