That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
