I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
