she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
