Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
