Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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