I need help removing her.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
