his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
