They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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