I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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