he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
