R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
