It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
