Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am mentally ready for anal.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
