I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
